Inside the child's head
by Near0218
Summary: I do not know where this story will go or how long it will be. It is just a quick look at Carl's thoughts from day to day and how he handles things that happen in the group, and how he handles him self, whether it be physically or emotionally.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: It's been way to long since I have written something an all I have ever written has been anime so bear with me through this.

I use to live a normal life, sure it was a unhappy one but it was normal. I went to school, I played games with friends, and was bullied by insecure children. Yes it was a normal life, but at the time I just wanted something different, and know that I have that I wish I could go back. I wish I could go back to Jimmy Knickles making fun of my height, I wish I could go back to when I played video games with Callob. But my life will not go back and I just have to accept that, this, this is my life were I will hopefully grow old. My name is Carl Grimes and I live in the Zombie Apocalypse.

Today we lost many and gained one, someone went through the prison, our safe haven where we live and let zombies loose where we walk. It was my job to keep Maggie and my mom safe, mine and I failed. My mom died giving birth to my brand new sister who we have not named. While I am happy to have Judith I would have loved to have been allowed to keep my Mom.

Then on top of all of this Glenn and Maggie were both taken by a dead man, at least we all thought he was dead but now my dad has come back and said that they saw him. Mural the one man stronger then Shane and they saw him with a knife attached to his arm. The rescue mission was somewhat of a success; we got Glenn and Maggie but lost Daryl. My dad plans on going back to get Daryl, I tell him to go for it but I really don't want him to go, when he leaves I get scared I worry about him all the time and he always leaves me in charge. In charge of what?! The dying society that we have we lost 1 person per a month I did the math.

Our little camp is slowly depleting, we are slowly losing everyone that we have everyone that we care about, and if I lose my dad on top of already losing my mom I just don't know if I could make it. I wouldn't be able to keep myself together and keep the group safe. I mean for god sake he is trusting me with the whole groups life when I am 13, and on top of that all these zombies have stunted my growth, and my ability to you know hit puberty. I mean I am 13 4'6" an only weigh 85 pounds. I have not you know gotten "hard" ever I learned while I was at school that the average for that to happen was 11 or 12 so I am way behind.

Sorry off topic there, anyway my life is shit my dad's leaving and I am scared that's the big issue here but for now that's all I got to say.

A/N: So that is my way back into the world of fanfiction give me your thoughts and criticism I promise I can take it I know I got off topic there but This is about carl and him not the group its about what he thinks about and how he acts. It probably won't stay like he is talking to you that is probably only the intro I don't know yet might make it like a journal just making go as I go.


	2. Emotions

A/N Since I uploaded this yesterday and have had 29 views on it I will continue, but as I said bear with me through my grammar mistakes as my proofreader is at class. And also I have decided to mix some of the TV storyline with the comic book. As a result I will list the characters alive, Michonne, Rick, Daryl, Carl, Sophia, Glenn, Maggie, Andrea, Judith, Herschel, and others from different survivor camps.

My Dad has still yet to return with Daryl I am beginning to worry even more than usual, I hope they're both okay. After I shot Shane those two have been the strongest and if we lost them both or community would be in some serious trouble. Even with me Glenn and Maggie being here I don't know how long we could keep the walkers away.

Sophia is getting extra moody to so it's very hard to keep her under control and listening to us. I do not know why she is so moody I mean for god sake we are the safest we have been in months like there is just no point to randomly get angry at me. But, whatever being mad won't solve anything so I will just have to get used to it.

Well, I think I am finally starting to hit puberty but the problem is that there is literally 1 girl my age in this group and the way things have been going I don't know how long that will last. I think that even though puberty will finally help me grow over 5'0" I am worried about the feelings it will bring. The feelings, the feelings that will come with it, with puberty, those feelings are what kill people out her in this world. It's what killed Dale, it's what killed my mother her feelings toward something that didn't exist yet. And I feel as if my dad's compassion is gonna get him killed soon and that's why he is not back.

I do not want to be the next dead person I the group because of something that I can't control and didn't have till like a week ago. My solution is I just shut off all emotions do not show any, do not have any, do not even think of any because If any one, and I mean anyone is gonna live this fucking apocalypse it me Carl Grimes I have grown up in it and I will live through it.


End file.
